Idolising Children?

In today’s Age, journalist Geoff Strong shares his experience of adoption.

It is great to read a positive reflection and experience about foster parenting and adoption. I am glad Geoff put pen to paper to share it, my concern is that this one experience not be used to actually throw away much of the valuable things we know about the development of children.

Geoff writes:

It is no surprise. Our experience is of a system driven by an ideology that the solution for all children is to stay with their biological family at just about any cost, and that this will somehow be possible if resources are thrown at the problems.

Foster or permanent care parents are made to feel the least important part of the solution.

That ideology is founded on a concept that is pretty strong. That concept is that the bond between parent and child is an important and valuable one and while Geoff’s words are true about the lack of acknowledgment of and silence around adoption, connection to biological family in a majority of cases is really important.

My issue is the way this type of argument sets up the “bad parent”, “some people shouldn’t be parents, “you need a license to drive a car, but not be a parent” argument. If you respect children and respect that raising and supporting their development is all our responsibility (as it has clearly been for most of humanity’s existence until the last couple of hundred years where that has become fuzzy) then you can’t just point the finger at parents, we all shoulder some of that blame.

The issues facing families like Chloe’s biological family are usually entrenched, complex issues that are not easy to explain, that are difficult to solve and require time and patience. In some instances taking children and providing them a new family is the answer (as in Chloe’s case), but in others it is not. And, more importantly if we adequately funded family and mental health services, if we really committed to supporting those parents who need help to improve their lives and the lives of their children - maybe we’d have less issues in out child protection system.

The child protection system is a mess because it idolises children and refuses to delve into the complexity. This is not to say individual case managers and social workers don’t do this, but the systems across Australia are highly politicized by the impact a death of a child who is a ward of the state can be on governments and Ministers. Having worked in the area at a State government level I know that the issues are often driven by a desire to not have a case on the front page of the local tabloid newspaper, as much as anything. (It may be cynical, but it has an amount of truth)

Why don’t we call it a “Family Support System”, why can’t the focus be on providing better care for families and asking those who want to be foster carers to actually become foster carers of a family - or adopt a family? Become friends with people you might otherwise frown upon, extend a hand to an isolated couple struggling with a newborn. Learn to see the impact that sexual abuse, mental health issues, violent childhoods, poverty, isolation and other issues can have on adults who are doing the best they can - but have never been given the chance to see that life could be different.

I welcome the role people like Geoff Strong play. Adoption deserves recognition and the orle it plays is beneficial for some children, in some cases.

But, lets not avoid the fact that the more difficult solutions are far more confronting for us all than adoption is. The issues that lie behind why adoption occurs are what really needs to be addressed - and we continue to do a poor job of that.

Tags: childprotection, adoption, idolising